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Who knew my love came with a warranty and they still didn't read the fine print? 🤦♀️💔😂
750 Funny love quotes
Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.
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That moment when your fabulous friend suddenly wants a long-term lease on your personal real estate! 🤔😂🏡
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.
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Reading mixed signals is like trying to do a jigsaw puzzle with pieces from different boxes! 🤨🧩🚦
Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.
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I'm convinced cats have an alarm clock labeled "human disturbance" ⏰😹🐾
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.
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Two lovebirds eyeing each other like they're deciding who's the appetizer 🍽️👀💋
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.
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Facebook memories: the ultimate Roast Master of my romantic past! 😂💔📅
Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.
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Why bother with modern dating apps when you've got a feathered messenger service? 🐦💌🤔
I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.
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Enjoying that premium silent service experience! 🤫🚗😄
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
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Because pillows never break your heart! 🛏️😴❤️
I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.
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Watching new coworkers go from "Let's conquer the world!" to "Is it lunchtime yet?" is the real office drama 😂📉🍕