Funny massage quotes

• Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

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  2 months ago

  doll, give, good, humor, joke, massage, playful, quirky, sarcastic, voodoo, voodoo doll

• In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

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  2 months ago

  awkward, awkward moment, chair, humor, mall, massage, moaning, moment, relaxation

• I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

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  2 months ago

  fired, humor, i, job, joke, just, massage, parlor, people, reason, rub, specific, wrong, wrong way

• I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

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  2 months ago

  after, humor, ID, joke, massage, masseuse, minutes, okay, relaxation, selfish, terrible, turn

• A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

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  2 months ago

  absurdity, food, humor, i, machine, massage, need, pasta, relaxation, self-care

• Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

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  2 months ago

  humor, massage, masseuse, relaxation, struggle, tension, win

• Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

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  2 months ago

  anecdote, chiropractics, conversation, ghost, guy, humor, i, massage, pretty, quick, shut, therapist, told

• You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

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  2 months ago

  ask, back, expectation, funny situation, humor, i, joke, mad, massage, meatball, roll, situation, surprise, Swedish, Swedish massage

• I need a massage for my brain.

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  2 months ago

  brain, humor, i, massage, need, relaxation, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief

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