271 Funny night quotes

• Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

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  3 weeks ago

  bright, dark, day, humor, light, moon, night, opinion, perspective, sun, unpopular, us, useful, usefulness

• Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

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  3 weeks ago

  bowl, hangover, humor, Monday, morning, night, party, sports, Sunday, super, Super Bowl, toilet, Toilet Bowl, weekend

• I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

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  3 weeks ago

  company, connection, customer, drunken, drunken shopping, hate, humor, i, me, night, one-night stand, random, relationship, shopping, stand

• I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

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  3 weeks ago

  benefit, comeback, dance, dance move, enjoy, enjoyment, glass, glasses, health, health benefit, humor, i, move, moves, night, night routine, routine, wine, witty, witty comeback

• I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

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  3 weeks ago

  beautiful, bed, chicken, humor, i, night, rotisserie, sleep, toss, turn

• A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

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  3 weeks ago

  act, acting, adult, adults, babysitter, fun, irony, night, night out, responsibility, teenager

• Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

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  3 weeks ago

  burrito, call, comfort, food, good, guy, humor, i, late, late night, me, need, night, over, relaxation, sleep, tuck

• Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

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  3 weeks ago

  again, bedtime, brain, friend, hello, humor, laughing, night, old, once, sleep, thoughts

• You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

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  3 weeks ago

  disbelief, hours, me, night, people, sarcasm, sleep

• When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

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  3 weeks ago

  eye, humor, moon, night, November, season, time, weather

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