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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,927

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Just landed via Reddit:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Just landed via TikTok:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Trending via TikTok:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

29 Funny outfit quotes

More funny outfit quotes 👇

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

0

2 months ago

choice, embarrassment, fashion, faster, looking, looks, nothing, outfit, regret, teens, whisper
Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

0

2 months ago

check, clothing, embarrassment, humor, i, outfit, pants, public, put, quick, quick check, real, sure
Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad outfit, broke, clothes, clothes hanger, fashion, hanger, humor, just, outfit, outfits, superstition, wardrobe
What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

0

2 months ago

aliens, clothes, ET, extraterrestrial, funny scenario, humor, imagination, outfit, planet, scenario
I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

0

2 months ago

certain, deep, fashion, hairstyle, humor, i, outfit, outfits, procrastination, style, yes
My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

0

2 months ago

buy, fashion, humor, i, outfit, outfits, problem, shoe, shopping, style, wardrobe
Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

0

3 months ago

accessory, apple, Apple Watch, attire, dress, fashion, formal, formal attire, humor, kid, outfit, please, spy, spy kid, style, take, watch
Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

0

5 months ago

better, casual, casual conversation, conversation, day, ever, fashion, humor, let, me, outfit, procrastination, relatable, same, save
I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

0

5 months ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, celebrity, clothes, clothing, comfort, home, humor, i, love, outfit, put, sandler

For even more funny outfit quotes, hit next 👇

All funny outfit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

33 shares on X this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

98 shares on X this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Making waves on Pinterest:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Spotted on Pinterest:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Just shared via Twitch:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Activity Log ✨

29 Funny outfit quotes

More funny outfit quotes 👇

All funny outfit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨