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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Meeting BeyoncΓ© and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has viewed:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has downloaded:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has shared:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

If someone texts β€œDo you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has shared:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Just landed via Twitch:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Spotted on Instagram:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Just landed via Twitch:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Trending via Messenger:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Just shared via Facebook:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Trending via Twitch:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Just landed via Messenger:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

23 Funny pleasure quotes

Funny pleasure quotes bring a burst of joy and laughter to your day πŸŒŸπŸ˜„ Whether you’re celebrating the little wins or just need a cheeky pick-me-up, these witty gems remind us that pleasure is best enjoyed with a smile 😜🍦 Get ready to lighten the mood and spark some giggles because happiness has never looked this fun! πŸŽ‰πŸ˜‚

New funny pleasure quotes πŸ‘‡

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All funny pleasure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

16 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

27 shares on Threads this month:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The note on this boxed wine says β€˜Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has viewed:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has copied:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Snapchat:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Spotted on Telegram:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just shared via Messenger:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Just shared via Discord:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Going viral on Telegram:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Going viral on Discord:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Spotted on Messenger:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

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