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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Shared recently on Facebook:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Spotted on Threads:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Spotted on Facebook:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

71 Funny problems quotes

Funny problems quotes bring a dose of 😂 to life’s little hurdles, turning everyday mishaps into opportunities for a good laugh. They remind us that even when things go a bit sideways, a sense of humor is the best tool in our toolbox 🛠️. Perfect for sharing with friends or just brightening your own day, these quotes transform the mundane into moments of joy. So, next time you’re in a pickle 🥒, remember to chuckle!

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Spotted on Reddit:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Spotted on Twitch:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Going viral on Twitch:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

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