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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Seen just now on Slack:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Just landed via Threads:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Spotted on Threads:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

198 Funny satire quotes

More funny satire quotes 👇

The government even made aliens boring.

3 months ago

aliens, boring, even, government, humor, satire
If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

3 months ago

billionaire, Earth, else, escape, everyone, humor, i, leave, Mars, rockets, satire, space, space travel, travel, wealth
New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

3 months ago

auto, Covid, humor, insurance, joke, new, pandemic, satire, sell, variant, warranty
How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

3 months ago

art, before, editing, filter, humor, media, painting, photography, satire, social, social media, take
If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

3 months ago

aliens, believe, commercials, dialogue, humor, observation, pharmaceutical, satire, walk, writing
Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

3 months ago

diagnosis, Google, health, humor, irony, just, politics, satire, symptoms
Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

3 months ago

19s, 19S Plus Pro, China, Covid, humor, imagine, joke, pandemic, plus, pro, satire, survival
We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

3 months ago

AI, AI bot, alive, bot, bots, country, drinking, drinking water, dumbest, entertain, entertainment, high-speed, high-speed rail, humor, infrastructure, people, porn, rail, satire, steal, technology, theft, water, water theft

For even more funny satire quotes, hit next 👇

All funny satire quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

97 shares on X this month:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

13 shares on YouTube this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Going viral on Slack:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Live now on X:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Activity Log ✨

198 Funny satire quotes

More funny satire quotes 👇

All funny satire quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨