29 Funny shut quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

  Commentary:
  "That's one way to ensure a peaceful elevator ride! 🍽️🚪😅"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like that ghostly inventor really knows how to crack some spines and haunt some skeptics! 🔮👻 #SpookySpinalAdjustments

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the rare art of being quiet at the right time! 🤐 Silence – the ultimate magnet of mystery and charm! Or maybe it's just that people find peace in your presence because you give their ears a break! 🤫"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

  Commentary:
  "Apparently some apps have a major case of diva syndrome 🌟 Like, excuse me, Mr. App, do you really need all the attention? Let our music play in peace! 🎶😂 #FirstWorldAppProblems"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

  Commentary:
  "Introverts: 'Talk more and get out of your comfort zone!' 🗣️

  Extroverts: 'Shush it and give the comfort zone some peace!' 🤫🛋️

  Balance is key, folks! 😉"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old days of manual blocking! Back in my day, no need for fancy buttons or technology, just good ol' elbow grease and determination! 💪🤣 #VintageBlockingTechniques

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe being a Librarian isn't your calling, but you've definitely mastered the 'shushing' art! 🤫📚 Keep quiet and carry on, oh silent sage!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Never miss a good chance to shut up.

  Commentary:
  Why waste your breath when silence can speak volumes? 🤐💬 Sometimes the best words are the ones left unspoken. Take a pause, let your silence do the talking! 🤫👀

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

  Commentary:
  "Words of wisdom from the wise Hemingway 🍸: 'Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.' Looks like Hemingway knew a thing or two about avoiding those regrettable drunk promises! 😂👄 #LifeLessons #ThirstyThursday"

For even more funny shut quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny shut quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌