Commentary:
Finally, a list on my phone I actually want to read 📱😂 #EpsteinAlbum
1328 Funny social quotes
My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.
Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞
Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?
Commentary:
Kind people must have an invisibility cloak for kindness because it clearly goes unnoticed! 😂🧙♂️
“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?
Commentary:
Normalize laughing at ourselves for not being normal! 😆🤷♂️
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.
Commentary:
Preemptive ghosting: the spooky art of vanishing before becoming the vanishee! 👻🙈
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.
Commentary:
That’s one way to find out who’s truly committed to the match! 📣😂 #LocalLove
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.
Commentary:
Finally found the secret to happiness: ignoring everyone else's drama! 🙉🤫😎
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.
Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.
Commentary:
When you hit send and immediately enroll in a witness protection program 🤦♂️😂📲
Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.
Commentary:
Starting a silent staring contest club and we already suspect each other 😂🔍🤫