Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Spotted on Slack:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Funny taxi quotes

Funny taxi quotes are a great way to add some humor to your next ride! 🚖😄 From quirky driver anecdotes to amusing passenger observations, these quotes capture the lighter side of taxi adventures. Buckle up and enjoy the ride through these hilarious takes on urban transportation! 😂🚕

New funny taxi quotes 👇

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

0

2 months ago

am, boss, command, conversation, driver, driving, humor, i, job, joke, left, love, me, navigation, nobody, own, said, taxi, taxi driver, today, turn
Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

0

2 months ago

adventure, Friday, fun, hello, humor, matter, money, taxi, weekend
I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

0

2 months ago

around, else, humor, i, joke, mobility, robot, robots, support, taxi, technology, transportation
I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, dog, dogs, family, humor, kids, life, parenting, taxi, today, transportation
Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

0

5 months ago

availability, behavior, conversation, drinking, drunk, emotional, emotional availability, emotionally, humor, i, me, please, sober, social, social behavior, stop, talking, taxi, unavailable, why

All funny taxi quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

39 shares on YouTube this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Seen just now on Discord:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Going viral on Messenger:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Live now on Instagram:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Just shared via Facebook:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Seen just now on X:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Breaking via Twitch:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴