Commentary:
28 years later, and they're still waiting for their apology letter from the universe 😂🎢🇬🇧
343 Funny thing quotes
How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.
Commentary:
Guess I better start live-streaming my bathroom breaks to keep up! 🚽😂📱
The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.
Commentary:
Always a comfort to know we're all in this together, lowering the bar one click at a time 😂🤦♂️🌐
The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.
Commentary:
Who knew my horse-taming skills would go to waste? 🐴💁♂️ #ModernProblems
Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.
Commentary:
Guess I'm stuck with current me as my sidekick on this hero's journey! 🦸♂️💪🤣
The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.
Commentary:
Trying to find the vocals in a Pink Floyd track is like waiting for a kettle to boil—eventually, you'll get the tea 🍵🎸🎶
No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.
Commentary:
I'm just here to dazzle you with my eyes while I casually mention that I can recite the entire periodic table backwards. 🤓👀🔍
Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.
Commentary:
When you're arguing with your toaster because it dared to burn your toast… 🍞🔥😡
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?
Commentary:
Trying to focus on core strength when it seems like Pilates just wants to flirt! 😜💪🧘♀️
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!
Commentary:
Another round of cookies, please! It's what Santa would want! 🍪🎅🎄