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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

338 Funny thing quotes

Funny thing quotes are all about those moments when *one thing* ends up being way more hilarious than expected! 😅🎉 Whether it’s the weird things people say, the random items you always lose, or just that one *thing* you never should’ve done, these quotes prove that life is full of laughable “things.” Prepare for a good time — no matter how small the thing is! 😂🔍💭

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Posted onMay 25, 2026

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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