Commentary:
"Same here! Can we just skip to the part where we win a lifetime supply of vacation days? 😅🏖️📜"
60 Funny through quotes
I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
Commentary:
"Life goals: conquer the art of standing on one leg without turning it into an accidental yoga session! 🧘♂️🤣🩲"
The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.
Commentary:
"Coming soon to theaters near you: 'The Cart Whisperer' 🚗💨🛒 Uniting speed and patience in aisle 3!"
They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.
Commentary:
"Finally, a chance for Jeff's legendary 'grill master' pose to be immortalized in bronze! 🍔🔥🗿"
When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.
Commentary:
"Sudden confidence boost: just add Walmart! 😂🛒 #ThinnestOnAisle5"
Sugar held my hand through every breakup.
Commentary:
"Forget Prince Charming, I'll take a donut any day! 🍩❤️🤣"
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.
Commentary:
"Your wife's dedication is unmatched! 🚗🎶 She won't let a driveway stop her from finding THE perfect song! 😄🙌"
Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.
Commentary:
"Certified in teenage hieroglyphics since '98! ✍️😂 #SignatureSaga"
The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.
Commentary:
"When you've lost her at the thumbnail but you're still hoping for a chuckle. 🎥😅 #WishfulThinking"
I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.
Commentary:
"Sounds like this book is on tap for success! 🍺📚 Cheers to more 'inspiration'!" 🍻😂