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75 Funny turn quotes

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If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.
Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

More funny turn quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dreaded realization of waking up early on a Saturday morning only to discover that the Park Run is ON! 🏃‍♂️🤦‍♀️ It's a conspiracy I tell you, a sneaky plot to make us exercise! 😅 #NotTheSaturdayStruggleWeSignedUpFor"
5 months ago
Share →: Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Commentary:
"Google Maps: 'I said LEFT, not a U-TURN!'U0001F602🗺️ #LostAndFound"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for the non-smartphone users, ensuring the honking tradition stays alive! 🚦📵 Keep the honk alive, folks! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless art of blending creepiness with performance art on public transport 🚆⏱️📖 Who needs Netflix when you've got live-action psychological thriller unfolding right beside you? Just your daily dose of unexpected entertainment! Just remember, every page turn adds another tick towards literary suspense – or possibly a restraining order! 😂 #PassengerPeekaboo
5 months ago
Share →: “Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Commentary:
🐵🧠 "Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?" exclaimed the first primate to experience consciousness. Looks like even the earliest awakening minds weren't quite ready for the existential crisis package that comes with self-awareness! 😅 #PrimateProblems
5 months ago
Share →: “I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic 'I'm sure it'll turn up' – a subtle way of saying 'I'm done searching for your lost treasures, mate' 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Don't worry, Sherlock Holmes has got nothing on you… or so they say! 🎩🕵️‍♂️ #LostAndFoundChronicles"
5 months ago
Share →: I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate twist in spa history! The massage therapist becoming the massagee 🤣💆‍♂️ Who knew self-care could involve such a role reversal! #MassageTherapistGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Commentary:
"Looks like I'll be trading in my calculator for a ski mask! 💸🔫 Just kidding, I'll stick to legal ways to boost my bank balance…for now! 😂💼 #ImTooPrettyForPrison"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Commentary:
"Who needs resolutions when the year itself needs to step up its game? It's time for 2022 to level up and bring on the awesome sauce! 🌟🥳 #YearGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Commentary:
Looks like "yelling less" quickly turned into "yelling stress" for this brave parent 🙈🔥. The road to improved parenting may have hit a pothole or two! 🛣️🚗 #ParentingStruggles