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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Just shared via Slack:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Just shared via Instagram:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Going viral on X:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Trending via TikTok:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Just landed via Instagram:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Live now on Discord:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Trending via WeChat:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Just landed via Twitch:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Seen just now on Threads:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

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