89 Funny wife quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of domestic bliss! When life gives you lemons, make sure to angrily scrub them clean, chop them with fury, and fold that laundry like it insulted your cooking! 🍋🔪👚 #MomLife #DomesticGoddess"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs wind turbines or solar panels when you have the incredible energy generated by a slamming car door? 💥🚗 Just make sure to stand back and watch the power of that slam! 💪😆"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My wife has the worst taste in men.

  Commentary:
  Well, at least she found the perfect match in you! 🤣👫 It's all about balance, right? Maybe opposites attract – for better or for worse! 😉

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  6 months ago

  Share →: When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your wife takes 'packing light' to a whole new level! 🧳🏠 When she says 'going on a trip', she means business! 😅 #WifeGoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

  Commentary:
  "You know you're in trouble when forgetting your wife's birthday feels like playing a dangerous game of memory roulette! 🎲💔 Mark those calendars, gentlemen! #LivingOnTheEdge"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

  Commentary:
  Well, isn't that a wild fact! 🦁👰 Leave it to wordplay to give us a whole new perspective on marriage. Who knew that being a wife involves a bit of wild side as well? 🤣💍 #WildWifeWisdom

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a plot twist! 😱 Looks like you married a Sith Lord in disguise. May the Force be with you! 💍👰🤖"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is navigating through the delicate dance of marriage etiquette! 😄 Remember, when it comes to wedding humor, treading lightly is always a veil-y good idea! 👰🚫💍 #HappyWifeHappyLife

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone missed the 'teamwork makes the dream work' memo! 😂 Hopefully, your wife appreciates the unexpected bedroom acrobatics! 🤸‍♂️💤"

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