Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,010

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Just landed via WeChat:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Making waves on Reddit:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Making waves on X:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Just landed via X:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Angels taking notes on my perfect fit ✨📏👼 #FashionGuides

clothing, clothing review, fashion, girl, girls, going, heaven, height, humor, leave, online, online shopping, review, reviews, shopping, size, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

1

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

0

4 months ago

again, am, amazing, free, going, growth, humor, i, interview, invitation, job, job interview, literally, motivation, nervous, nervousness, never, personal, personal growth, public, public speaking, self-confidence, self-praise, speaking, talk
Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

0

1 month ago

50s, aging, both, contacts, doctor, health, humor, life, life stage, pharmacist, stage, welcome
It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

0

1 month ago

exhaustion, fatigue, humor, nap, need, rest, sleep, yawn
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

5 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

0

1 month ago

bottle, disaster, fridge, fridge spill, frustration, humorous, humorous frustration, kitchen, kitchen disaster, kitchen mess, mess, over, sauce, spill, unpronounceable, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

64 shares on Threads this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

94 shares on Messenger this month:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Just shared via Instagram:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Going viral on X:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨