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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Just landed via Instagram:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Just landed via Discord:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Going viral on Messenger:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about pretending to agree with landlord's joke about rent and mortgage.

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Commentary:
When your rental home turns into a Monopoly board and you’re the one paying the premium on every square 🔄🏠💸🤣

face, i, landlord, me, mortgage, paying, rent, sit, straight, straight face, tenant, told, while

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98 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Just shared via TikTok:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Live now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Just landed via Telegram:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Breaking via Facebook:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Just shared via Discord:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

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Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

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Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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