Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Just shared via Slack:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Trending via Messenger:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Making waves on Discord:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spotted on Telegram:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Breaking via Discord:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Trending via Instagram:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Live now on WeChat:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like an intense networking event! Hope you didn't exchange addresses with Jesus just yet! 🥾🚑😂

40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

2 months ago

action, actions, average, daily, daily action, else, good, humor, self-deprecation, something, something else
“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

2 months ago

AI, creativity, digital, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, technology, tell
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

2 months ago

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan
Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

2 months ago

advantages, being, fat, humor, i, last, lazy, procrastination, self-deprecation, still, winter, year
I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

3 months ago

communication, face, humor, i, love, people, punching, sarcasm, wit, words
Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

2 months ago

back, days, dinosaurs, exercise, good, good old days, humor, just, naturally, nature, nostalgia, old, prehistoric, running, toenails, trim

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

74 shares on Threads this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Going viral on Facebook:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hope this email kills us both.

Trending via Snapchat:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Trending via Messenger:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨