Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Making waves on Messenger:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Making waves on Instagram:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Spotted on Facebook:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

0
I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic tale of unrequited love between a person and a gym – the treadmill of heartbreak 💔. Sometimes, no matter how many reps you do, the gym still wants some space. Time to find a new workout partner, maybe yoga or pilates will be a better match! 🧘‍♂️💪 #GymBreakup #SweatingItOut

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

30 shares on X this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

22 shares on Twitch this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Just landed via YouTube:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Overthinkaholic!

Live now on Reddit:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Trending via WeChat:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Spotted on X:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Spotted on Slack:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴