Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Just landed via YouTube:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Just landed via Messenger:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Just shared via WeChat:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Trending via Reddit:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to raise the bar on the fun-o-meter! 🎉😜

commentary, enough, hate, humor, i, irony, lot, slut-shame, slutty, social, social commentary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

0

1 month ago

dark, dark room, feeling, feeling insane, focus, health, hobby, humor, indoor, indoor hobby, insane, lying, lying down, mental, mental health, perfect, perfect time, relaxation, room, self-care, time, year
“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

0

2 months ago

baking, cooking, food, honesty, humor, i, love, spoon
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

0

2 months ago

bite, distraction, eating, entertainment, food, good, humor, i, priorities, procrastination, refuse, single, something, take, TV
Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

0

2 months ago

act, bribe, coffee, Friday, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, trying, weekday, workday
If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

0

2 months ago

balance, happy, happy scientist, humor, laboratory, mad, mad scientist, note, positivity, put, reminder, science, scientist, sometimes
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

32 shares on Slack this month:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Breaking via Twitch:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Seen just now on Discord:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Spotted on Reddit:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Just landed via TikTok:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨