Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Making waves on Twitch:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Just landed via WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Just landed via WeChat:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Just shared via TikTok:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just landed via WeChat:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Making waves on Messenger:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I miss the days when TV seasons were longer than my to-do list! 📺😅 #BingeWorthy #WhereDidItAllGo"

air, air conditioning, conditioning, episode, episodes, every, heat, hot, humor, i, inconvenience, miss, nostalgia, show, sitcom, summer, TV, TV Show, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

0

2 months ago

day, favorite, favorite day, going, humor, i, pretend, procrastination, productive, relaxation, something, Sunday, where
Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

0

2 months ago

bold, bold move, commentary, history, humor, i, incognito, incognito mode, joke, mode, move, online, online privacy, privacy, social, social commentary, tech, tech joke, tonight, turning
Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

0

2 months ago

allergy, cat, humor, meowlergy, pets, pun, wordplay
If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

0

2 months ago

explain, game, gaming, humor, joke, jump, Mario, men, race, race humor, race joke, sports, super, Super Mario, video, video game, white
My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

0

2 months ago

advice, apocalypse, canned, canned goods, dead, eat, expired, expired food, food, funny advice, goods, humor, pantry, still, survival, takeaway, walking, Walking Dead, zombie, zombie apocalypse
The only way to my heart is with a knife.

0

2 months ago

heart, humor, knife, love, only, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

58 shares on Twitch this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

47 shares on Facebook this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Trending via Reddit:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Making waves on Facebook:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Going viral on Twitch:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨