Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Just shared via Telegram:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of Reverse Benjamin Button Syndrome 😂🧓 #PermanentlyBored

15, age, boredom, boring, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, nostalgia, old, time, why, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

0

2 months ago

activity, family, gentle, gentle parenting, hear, humor, kids, kids activity, making, mango, parenting, parenting humor, peeling, say, sure
Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

0

2 months ago

bottle, disaster, fridge, fridge spill, frustration, humorous, humorous frustration, kitchen, kitchen disaster, kitchen mess, mess, over, sauce, spill, unpronounceable, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce
Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, apology, back, communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, people, social, social anxiety, social interaction, sorry, talking, text, texting
The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, disturbance, holiday, humor, new, new year, space, time, week, wormhole, year
Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

0

2 months ago

activity, comedy, experience, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, joy, me, movie, personal, personal experience, skinny-dip, swimming
I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, escape, ever, flatulence, helpful, humor, i, kidnapped, nervous, situation, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

27 shares on Instagram this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Going bananas on Reddit:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Spotted on Threads:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Just shared via Messenger:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Going viral on Messenger:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Making waves on Threads:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Just shared via Telegram:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨