Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Just shared via Slack:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Making waves on WeChat:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Making waves on Snapchat:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Trending via TikTok:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Making waves on Threads:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of Reverse Benjamin Button Syndrome 😂🧓 #PermanentlyBored

15, age, boredom, boring, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, nostalgia, old, time, why, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

0

6 months ago

asked, childhood, fan, game, games, humor, i, iPad, joke, kid, kids, me, play, question, robot, sound, speak, speech, technology, told, used
My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, comedy, humor, interaction, irony, secret, secret talent, self-deprecation, situation, social, social interaction, talent, turning
Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

0

2 months ago

diet, drive, eat, fasting, fitness, health, humor, humor quote, i, intermittent, joke, lifestyle, sarcasm
Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

0

2 months ago

exaggeration, eyes, humor, lighting, perception, room, terrifying, true
It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad thing, brain, brainwashing, funny thought, humor, idea, irony, nice, sounds, speaking, sucks, thing, thought, washing
Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

0

2 months ago

counter, disappointed, dismayed, i, nobody, office, person, post, post office, say, shocked, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

80 shares on Telegram this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

10 shares on X this month:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

100 shares on Discord this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Earth is hard.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨