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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Just shared via Reddit:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Just shared via Twitch:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Making waves on Slack:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you California vibes, just add a splash of drama and caffeine tears 😂🥤🌴

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

0

2 months ago

day, doing, done, except, feel, guilt, guilty, humor, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, self-awareness
Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

0

2 months ago

anyone, bad, bad mood, cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, food, food humor, free, humor, humor quote, lift, mood, mood lift, should, snack
French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, changing, day, du, food, french, humor, joke, jour, keep, language, restaurant, soup, soup du jour, translation
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, liar, loser, oh, relationship, sarcasm, situationship
My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

0

2 months ago

body, body lotion, comedy, favorite, health, humor, joke, lotion, medicine, medicine joke, pain, pain relief, relief, Voltaren
Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

0

2 months ago

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

16 shares on X this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

69 shares on X this month:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

42 shares on Slack this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Just landed via YouTube:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Just shared via Telegram:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Going viral on Threads:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨