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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Going viral on TikTok:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Going viral on Reddit:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Making waves on Threads:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Spotted on Slack:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you California vibes, just add a splash of drama and caffeine tears 😂🥤🌴

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal
Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

0

2 months ago

advice, ChatGPT, communication, conversation, humor, me, question, stop, tech
Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, honesty, humor, i, mean, mean stuff, relationships, right, self-awareness, sorry, stuff
Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, daily, daily struggle, day, doom-scroller, enough, frustration, here, humor, internet, relaxation, rest, sarcasm, seen, struggle, tired
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

0

3 weeks ago

adult, am, antidepressant, doing, eating, floss, flossing, going, here, humor, i, idiot, irony, just, laundry, little, responsibility, salad, self-care, taking, teeth, walk, walks, want, whatever
Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

0

2 months ago

ex, humor, life, relationship, ruining, safe, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Messenger this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

41 shares on X this month:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

44 shares on Twitch this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

71 shares on Discord this month:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Just shared via Slack:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Just shared via Pinterest:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Just shared via YouTube:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Making waves on Telegram:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Trending via Slack:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨