Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,768

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

69 but we both just farting.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Shared recently on Threads:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Seen just now on X:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Just shared via Threads:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Live now on Messenger:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote urging kindness to retail workers during last-minute shopping chaos.

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Commentary:
Remember, Mary's water broke, not their patience! 😂🛒💦

broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Facebook this month:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

51 shares on Discord this month:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Spotted on Twitch:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨