Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Shared recently on Slack:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Broadcasted on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Just landed via Twitch:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Live now on Discord:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Just shared via TikTok:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating the universe one email reply at a time 🚀💻✨

answer, email, emails, frustration, humor, i, outer, planet, rock, space, spinning, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

0

2 months ago

another, comedy, dinosaurs, film, guess, humor, jurassic, let, loose, me, movie, sequel
I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

0

2 months ago

battery, charged, charging, daily, daily life, humor, i, lay, lazy, life, phone, procrastination, relatable, suck, taking, technology
Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

0

2 months ago

buy, diet, disappointment, donut, donuts, food, grocery, hate, home, humor, realize, shopping, surprise, veggie
I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, errands, going, humor, just, means, routine, running, weekend, where
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

0

2 months ago

dream, dreams, frustration, hate, humor, i, lose, office, office humor, paper, pen, relatable, sanity, things, work
My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

0

2 months ago

binge, binge-watching, entertainment, fast, getting, habit, i, nothing, sad, sadness, sery, show, too, toxic, toxic trait, trait, TV, TV sery, watch, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

32 shares on Discord this month:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

70 shares on Threads this month:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Just landed via Messenger:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Seen just now on Threads:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Going bananas on X:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Breaking via YouTube:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨