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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Trending via Discord:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Spotted on Slack:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Live now on Pinterest:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Making waves on WeChat:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Spotted on Facebook:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about quick versus long-term book reading habits, playful and relatable tone.

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Commentary:
This is why my bookshelf doubles as a witness protection program 📚😂🔍

12, book, book lover, bookshelf, buy, days, Funny, humor, lover, procrastination, read, reading, sometimes, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

21 shares on Discord this month:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

93 shares on X this month:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

11 shares on Slack this month:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

28 shares on Reddit this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Making waves on Discord:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Your opinions are not my business.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Spotted on Messenger:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨