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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Making waves on Facebook:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Spotted on TikTok:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Making waves on Discord:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew that teleportation required a spatula and a Wi-Fi connection? 🍴✨📡

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

46 shares on Threads this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

77 shares on YouTube this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Live now on Threads:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Trending via Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Going bananas on Discord:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Just landed via Telegram:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

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