Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,054

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Spotted on WeChat:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Spotted on Messenger:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Going viral on Instagram:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Spotted on YouTube:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Shared recently on Slack:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Honestly, where's the loyalty, bank account? 😂💸 #BetrayedByMyBalance"

account, actually, bank, bank account, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, money, okay, rude, sarcasm, spend, spending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, awkward, awkward moment, confused, confusion, date, dating, dating app, deleted, going, grocery, grocery store, humor, interaction, just, life, moment, shopping, single, single life, social, social interaction, store, walk
Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, bad decision, choice, choices, decision, humor, humorous, making, myself, number, pride, proud, record-breaking, sarcastic, self-deprecating, today
I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, imagination, imagine, lottery, ready, reality, thrill, wake, wake up, work
Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life
Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

0

2 months ago

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style
They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

0

5 months ago

experience, humor, invent, invention, life, relationship, sarcasm, should, turn, worst, worst experience

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

55 shares on Threads this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Just landed via X:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Trending via Facebook:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Freshly posted on X:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Trending via Discord:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨