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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Shared recently on WeChat:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Going viral on Threads:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Trending via TikTok:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Making waves on Discord:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Trending via WeChat:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Just shared via X:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

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Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.
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Commentary:
Just imagine he suggests a couch without 37 decorative pillows 🛋️😱📌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

26 shares on X this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

48 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,371

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Going viral on WeChat:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Making waves on Twitch:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

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