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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Just shared via Twitch:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Just landed via X:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Trending via Slack:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Going viral on Facebook:

Is this art or trash?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a divine intervention for my driving record! 🚗😂🙏

15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

0

2 months ago

act, age, grown, grown up, humor, i, just, maturity, self-perception, want, young, youth
All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

0

3 weeks ago

before, breakup, country, country song, hear, humor, leaving, matter, only, self-driving, self-driving vehicle, song, time, truck, vehicle
This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, going, humor, pillow, relatable, scream, sleep
Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

0

2 months ago

absent, absent father, actually, boss, daily, daily presence, day, distance, dynamics, emotional, emotional distance, emotional unavailability, emotionally, every, family, family dynamics, father, father figure, figure, final, humor, life, lol, met, parent-child, parent-child relationship, presence, relationship, sucks, unavailability, unavailable
My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

0

3 weeks ago

child, equivalent, family, father, humor, joke, kid, kids, parenting, sibling, time, want, zero
My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

0

3 weeks ago

conflict, control, country, exaggeration, fight, fighting, humor, joke, much, oil, over, skin

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

27 shares on WeChat this month:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

17 shares on X this month:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

53 shares on Slack this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Just shared via Threads:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Seen just now on X:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Just shared via WeChat:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Making waves on Messenger:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨