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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Making waves on Reddit:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Trending via Snapchat:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Breaking via Twitch:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Spotted on WeChat:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a divine intervention for my driving record! 🚗😂🙏

15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, brain, brains, funny situation, humor, joke, looking, moment, past, right, situation, survival, walking, walks, zombie
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

4 months ago
attitude, fear, humor, know, maybe, Monday, motivation, scared, us, week
Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

3 months ago
change, humor, irony, mourning, only, people, season, seasonal, seasonal change, spirit, summer, terrible, unfortunately, weather
Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

2 months ago
advice, dirty, humor, likes, metaphor, never, pig, wrestle
You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

1 month ago
fear, humor, i, me, minutes, panic, scare, two minutes, wallet
Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

5 months ago
50s, coffee, hangover, happy, happy hour, hour, morning, mornings, new, welcome, where

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Going viral on YouTube:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Breaking via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Making waves on Twitch:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Alexa, mute my children.

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

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Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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