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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Going viral on Snapchat:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Going viral on Threads:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Just landed via X:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Spotted on Messenger:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Going viral on Instagram:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When your spirit animal is Eeyore but you tell everyone you're living the dream 😂🙃🌧️

coping, depressed, depression, doing, emotional, emotional state, ever, good, guy, health, humor, mental, mental health, met, mood, most, pretty, self-deprecation, state

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

0

2 months ago

driving, frustration, getting, humor, irony, law, rules, traffic
Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

0

2 months ago

advice, blame, blaming, comedy, everyone, everything, frustration, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problem, problems, relationships, sarcasm, stop
I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

0

2 months ago

attraction, falling, flirting, humor, humorist, i, ID, love, media, once, pics, playful, post, self-awareness, self-confidence, social, social media, want
Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

0

2 months ago

dedication, dog, dogs, everyone, extravagance, extravagant, hard, humor, lifestyle, pet, shoutout, support, work, works
Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

0

2 months ago

analogy, cheese, food, held, humor, identity, just, lasagna, much, point, self-deprecation, together
I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

0

2 months ago

fun, gathering, humor, invite, later, party, people, phones, social, stare, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

17 shares on YouTube this month:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Making waves on X:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Going viral on Twitch:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Just landed via Telegram:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Going viral on Telegram:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Going bananas on Reddit:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨