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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Just shared via Threads:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Going viral on TikTok:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Trending via Slack:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Spotted on Discord:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Breaking via Slack:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Just shared via Instagram:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

4 weeks ago

Clever, humorous text about a surprisingly upbeat person expressing false confidence.

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Commentary:
When your spirit animal is Eeyore but you tell everyone you're living the dream 😂🙃🌧️

coping, depressed, depression, doing, emotional, emotional state, ever, good, guy, health, humor, mental, mental health, met, mood, most, pretty, self-deprecation, state

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

37 shares on Discord this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

45 shares on X this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Seen just now on Slack:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Going bananas on YouTube:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Trending via Instagram:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Work for a living? In this economy?

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Work for a living? In this economy?

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨