Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1674 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,836

Funny Quotes Topics

14,657

Funny Quotes Images

11,836

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Trending via Reddit:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Spreading quickly via X:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Going viral on Twitch:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Going viral on Discord:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Trending via WhatsApp:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your spirit animal is Eeyore but you tell everyone you're living the dream 😂🙃🌧️

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1674 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,836

Funny Quotes Topics

14,657

Funny Quotes Images

11,836

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Trending via Instagram:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Breaking via Telegram:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Just landed via Instagram:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Just landed via WeChat:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴