Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Breaking via WeChat:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Breaking via YouTube:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Spotted on YouTube:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Trending via Twitch:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Breaking via Twitch:

I have a yearning disability.

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

4 weeks ago

Playful text about forgetfulness, showing someone searching for their phone they're holding.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Story of my life—it's a real skill losing things while still holding them! 🙈📱🕵️‍♂️

awkward, comedy, everyday, forgetfulness, hand, holding, humor, looking, me, move, phone, relatability, self-deprecating, signature, smartphone, tech

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

54 shares on Discord this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

96 shares on Discord this month:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For whom the doom scrolls!

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

22 shares on Discord this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just shared via WeChat:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Seen just now on Discord:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Breaking via Facebook:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Just shared via Slack:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨