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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Trending via Facebook:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Just shared via Threads:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

7 days ago

Playful quote about modern communication and intelligence, with a humorous challenge for authenticity.

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Commentary:
Trying to figure out if you're hot off the press or just literarily impressive! 📚😂

communication, dating, dumb, humor, i, intelligence, know, loud, me, nude, nudes, played, reading, send, video

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Telegram this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

71 shares on Slack this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

76 shares on Slack this month:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Trending via X:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just landed via Instagram:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Breaking via Messenger:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Seen just now on Slack:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Trending via Telegram:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

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