Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Just landed via Slack:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Just landed via Reddit:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Just shared via Discord:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Just shared via Discord:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Trending via Telegram:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Breaking via Facebook:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Spotted on Slack:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Going viral on Threads:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Coming soon: 'Survivor: Corporate Jungle' 🍿💸 Let's see how they handle gourmet ramen noodles! 😄🍜"

billionaire, CEO, corporate, disparity, economic, economic disparity, employee, employee salary, employees, experiment, hear, humor, live, me, month, ok, reality, reality show, salary, satire, show, social, social experiment, where, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

0

2 months ago

cold, deserve, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, suffer, understand, winter
Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

0

4 weeks ago

commentary, communication, fluent, humor, identity, language, man, ordering, social, social commentary, straight, straight man, they/them, woke, woke language
You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

0

2 months ago

able, absurdity, body, donate, ethics, humor, joke, science, should, somebody
I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, close, coffee, humor, just, relationship
I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

0

2 months ago

bigger, bigger problems, comparison, creativity, honesty, humor, i, new, problems, quaint, sarcasm, solutions, solve
I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

0

2 months ago

actors, comedy, feelings, fun, humor, i, kissing, movie, reaction, romantic, said, strong, subtitles, surprise, unexpected, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

10 shares on X this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Going viral on Twitch:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Making waves on Reddit:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Trending via Discord:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Making waves on WeChat:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Trending via Discord:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Just landed via WeChat:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Making waves on Reddit:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨