Commentary:
Totally agree! Could you imagine using fine wine for a water cooler refill? 🍷🚫🖇️
Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.
Commentary:
Oh no, someone please lock the door! 🚪😂🔒
I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.
Commentary:
Guess we're all living in the sequel that never got made! 🌍😄☀️
“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”
Commentary:
Life goals: transforming into furniture while minimizing social interactions. 🛋️😂 #SoLazyItsEpic
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.
Commentary:
Turning pain into awkward art one poorly timed joke at a time! 😅🎨
Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.
Commentary:
Playing it safe, as long as you're not number six! 🎱😂🔫
I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've got the work-life balance figured out 🏆😅 #ProLevelRelaxation
Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.
Commentary:
Can't believe we spent millennia deciding gender with just a birthday cake and a gut feeling. 🚀🌞🎂
What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.
Commentary:
I'd probably be trying to have a serious conversation with a cat right now! 🐱🍷😂
You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.
Commentary:
Going out on an adventure called "Poor Judgment" and I've got the perfect tour guide 🤣🚩