Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,880

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Making waves on WeChat:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Making waves on Threads:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Making waves on Discord:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

More funny quotes 👇

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

0

23 hours ago

childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem
It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

0

23 hours ago

energy, exhaustion, humor, inside, much, retail, shopping, store, Walmart
Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

1

23 hours ago

blessing, contrast, dirty, dirty mind, face, having, humor, innocent, innocent face, mind, personality, truly
Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

0

4 days ago

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too
People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

3

4 days ago

being, frustration, hate, humor, income, job, money, people, poor, poverty, still, work, working
No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

1

4 days ago

asking, celebrity, ChatGPT, gallagher, humor, i, liam, Liam Gallagher, me, media, social, social media, thanks, Twitter
The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

1

4 days ago

finance, humor, i, money, need, patience, urgency
I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

0

4 days ago

adult, astronaut, celebrity, comparison, humor, identity, katy, Katy Perry, perry, same, space
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

0

4 days ago

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing
There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

0

4 days ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Discord this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

23 shares on Twitch this month:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Breaking via Discord:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Going viral on Telegram:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Spotted on Discord:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Going viral on X:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Making waves on WeChat:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Making waves on Messenger:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Live now on Facebook:

This Monday could have been an email.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨