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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Seen just now on Threads:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Just landed via Facebook:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Going viral on Slack:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Shared recently on X:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Just shared via Telegram:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sound like the secret to happiness is just sand, shower, and snooze! Beach therapy at its finest! 🏖️🚿😴

beach, close, comfort, experience, feeling, human, nap, never, post, post-beach, relaxation, serenity, shower, throw, touch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

0

7 days ago

before, compliment, cool, dark, dark humor, executioner, humor, i, irony, last, last words, met, unexpected, unexpected compliment, wish, words
Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

0

2 months ago

daylight, humor, irony, perspective, question, saved, time, wanted
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

0

2 months ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work
Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

0

2 months ago

another, dating, fear, heartbreak, humor, love, pointless, relationship, sarcasm, scared, single
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

0

5 months ago

act, act of God, five-year, five-year plan, God, humor, life, life plan, only, plan, sarcasm, unpredictability
Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

0

2 months ago

annoyance, everyday, everyday situation, full, home, homes, humor, lot, me, parking, parking lot, people, sarcasm, situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

72 shares on Discord this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Just landed via Twitch:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Trending via Discord:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Spotted on Facebook:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨