Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just landed via X:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Spotted on X:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Trending via TikTok:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Zooming into discipline with style and a little extra breeze 😂🍑💻

disciplinary, disciplinary hearing, hearing, humor, liberating, meeting, meetings, naked, nudity, online, online meeting, say, things, waist, want, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

49 shares on X this month:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

83 shares on Threads this month:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

95 shares on Threads this month:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

25 shares on Slack this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Going bananas on TikTok:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Making waves on Discord:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Shared recently on X:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on Messenger:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

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