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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Making waves on YouTube:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Seen just now on Slack:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Making waves on Discord:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Live now on Instagram:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Live now on Pinterest:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

2 months ago

0

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Zooming into discipline with style and a little extra breeze 😂🍑💻

disciplinary, disciplinary hearing, hearing, humor, liberating, meeting, meetings, naked, nudity, online, online meeting, say, things, waist, want, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, humor, order, pretend, rest, sleep, sleeping, weird
Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

0

2 months ago

bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying
Trying is the first step toward failure.

0

2 months ago

failure, first step, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, step, trying
With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, digestive, digestive trouble, health, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, trouble, wisdom
We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

0

2 months ago

couple, couple humor, hate, hatred, humor, humor quote, people, relationships, romance, romantic, same, sarcasm
Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

0

3 months ago

AI, automation, confidence, humor, incorrect, irony, job, lost, technology, unemployment

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

63 shares on X this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

18 shares on Twitch this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

71 shares on TikTok this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

71 shares on Slack this month:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Trending via Discord:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Just shared via WeChat:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Going viral on TikTok:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

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