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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Trending via YouTube:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Trending via Snapchat:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Shared recently on TikTok:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Just landed via Threads:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Making waves on Threads:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Making waves on X:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

2 months ago

0

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Zooming into discipline with style and a little extra breeze 😂🍑💻

disciplinary, disciplinary hearing, hearing, humor, liberating, meeting, meetings, naked, nudity, online, online meeting, say, things, waist, want, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

0

2 months ago

advice, being, client, client expectations, clients, communication, divorce, divorce lawyer, emails, expectations, humor, just, lawyer, legal, legal advice, negotiation, saying
Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, humor, i, joke, media, myself, PowerPoint, presentation, safe, sarcasm, social, social media, sorry, work
Overthinkaholic!

0

3 months ago

addiction, funny word, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, personality trait, trait, word
Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

0

2 months ago

applying, balm, behavior, confidence, funny behavior, humor, know, lip, lip balm, move, power, power move, self-care, situation, social, social situation, watching
When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

0

2 months ago

around, black, black clothes, clothes, decision, funeral, good, having, humor, look around, remark, response, room, saying, someone, witty, witty remark
I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, dog, dogs, feeling, girl, good, grooming, humor, i, lighthearted, pet, playful, self-deprecating, shampoo, today, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Trending via Instagram:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

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