Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has copied:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has shared:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Breaking via TikTok:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Going viral on Slack:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Going bananas on Discord:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Funny quote about the unexpected humility of FaceTime screenshots.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Accidental potato sighting during FaceTime call, feeling super relatable, and might need therapy πŸ˜‚πŸ“ΈπŸ₯”

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes people come into your life β€” and they need to stop doing that.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has shared:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has shared:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has shared:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on YouTube:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Going viral on Slack:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Trending via Messenger:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Live now on X:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Going viral on Slack:

Bragging about how I’ve β€œreally turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t care if it’s clichΓ©, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄