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Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Just landed via Instagram:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Spotted on Facebook:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Trending via WeChat:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Going viral on Telegram:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Just shared via Discord:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about the unexpected humility of FaceTime screenshots.

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Commentary:
Accidental potato sighting during FaceTime call, feeling super relatable, and might need therapy 😂📸🥔

call, Facetime, funny observation, humility, humor, observation, screenshot, seeing, self-image, technology, video, video call, yourself

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

98 shares on Discord this month:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

47 shares on Slack this month:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Going bananas on X:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Just landed via Reddit:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Just shared via Discord:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Just shared via Messenger:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Man, these end times are taking forever.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨