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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Going viral on Reddit:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Just landed via TikTok:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Making waves on WeChat:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions… Looks like my to-do list just got a plot twist! 📚🍕🧽 #Priorities"

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

1 month ago

ability, buying, expenses, extravagant, getting, grocery, housing, humor, irony, lifestyle, money, paying, save, save money
Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

1 month ago

agree, agreement, before, caution, conditions, humor, i, joke, new, new year, procrastination, read, terms, terms and conditions, year
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

2 months ago

attention, care, couple, debt, humor, missing, money, nobody, payments, responsibility, sarcasm, think
Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

4 months ago

20s, everything, favor, getting, girl, good, good luck, hot, hot girl, i, keep, life, luck, lucky, success, weird, works
Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

1 month ago

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth
Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

1 month ago

actually, bolt, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, funny image, humor, image, irony, much, nuts, nuts and bolt, robots, technology

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Spotted on TikTok:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Live now on Twitch:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

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Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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