Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Just shared via YouTube:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Trending via Discord:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Making waves on Facebook:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Going viral on Twitch:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Seen just now on TikTok:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

2 months ago

0

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like romance and bureaucracy are finally coming together! 💋 Who needs Cupid when you have an Executive Order for forehead kisses? 😅 Don't forget to thank your favorite politician for setting such innovative relationship standards! 📜 #ForeheadKissMandate

affection, executive, executive order, forehead, forehead kiss, give, humor, kiss, lighthearted, little, me, order, playful, relationship, signed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

0

5 days ago

actually, attitude, bring, culture, humor, i, manager, sort, urgency, urgent, vibe, work, work culture, workplace
Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, clearance, gift, humor, i, late, present, procrastination, scraping, sorry, tag
Be nice today, the world is on fire.

0

2 months ago

chaos, encouragement, fire, humor, nice, positivity, today, world
I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

0

5 months ago

age, divorce, half, humor, i, marriage, milestone, relationship, should
SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

0

2 months ago

app, casino, design, every, experience, feels, game, game design, much, online, online shopping, open, Shein, shopping, shopping app, time, too, user, user experience
Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

0

5 months ago

best, humor, joke, laughter, medicine, never, revenge, said, saying, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

18 shares on X this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Spotted on Discord:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Just landed via Telegram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Just shared via Threads:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Live now on Snapchat:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Making waves on Twitch:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Making waves on Discord:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Spotted on Slack:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴