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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Just shared via Twitch:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Just landed via X:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Just landed via Threads:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Just shared via WeChat:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Live now on Twitch:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Making waves on Slack:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

2 months ago

0

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like romance and bureaucracy are finally coming together! 💋 Who needs Cupid when you have an Executive Order for forehead kisses? 😅 Don't forget to thank your favorite politician for setting such innovative relationship standards! 📜 #ForeheadKissMandate

affection, executive, executive order, forehead, forehead kiss, give, humor, kiss, lighthearted, little, me, order, playful, relationship, signed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

0

2 months ago

activity, blank, common, common experience, confusion, embarrassment, experience, forgetfulness, forgot, high, i, indoor, indoor activity, memory, mind, mind blank, number, room, stand, staring, times, why
Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

0

5 months ago

event, experience, experiences, human, human experience, moving, relocation, stressful, stressful event, worst, worst experience
He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

0

2 months ago

Andre, giant, humor, i, just, nickname, observation, own, self-identification, think, wit
Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

0

2 months ago

2, advice, date, hr, humor, never, office, partner, pissed, reasons, relationship, super, work
Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

0

2 months ago

activity, baby, being, candy, Candy Crush, childhood, crush, excitement, exciting, fun, fun activity, gaming, going, imagine, iPad, months, playing, technology, womb
Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

0

2 months ago

30, dating, hide, hide and seek, humor, loneliness, looking, past, past 30, relationship, seek, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

29 shares on Discord this month:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

40 shares on X this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,271

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Breaking via Twitch:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Breaking via Slack:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Going viral on YouTube:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Live now on TikTok:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Spotted on Reddit:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Going viral on Twitch:

For the record, I use a turntable.

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