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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Spotted on Threads:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Spotted on Twitch:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Going viral on Instagram:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Just landed via Facebook:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Going viral on Facebook:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

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Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.
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Commentary:
At least Santa won't need a receipt from me this year! 🎅💔😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

78 shares on Discord this month:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Breaking via Threads:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Live now on Slack:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Just shared via Facebook:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Making waves on WeChat:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Trending via Reddit:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

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