Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Just shared via Messenger:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Trending via Pinterest:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Breaking via Telegram:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my morning routine needs a "caff-fi-nation" flag before I'm cleared for takeoff! ☕😴🚀

alertness, caffeine, coffee, humor, monitoring, situation, situation monitoring

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

0

4 months ago

chair, clean, closet, clothes, dilemma, dirty, humor, laundry, laundry dilemma, too, welcome
There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails
Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beautiful woman, big, big car, buy, car, driving, gorgeous, grocery, house, humor, irony, kitchen, luxury, oh, overpriced, rich, rich woman, shopping, stock, woman
The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, correct, details, do it, even, haters, humor, i, irony, right, self-deprecation, small
Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

0

2 months ago

drunk, drunk shopping, experience, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, hunger, hungry, online, online shopping, relatable, relatable humor, shopping, shopping experience
God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

0

4 months ago

desire, frustration, God, humor, i, let, life, me, once, plea, please, prayer, want, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Making waves on X:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Going viral on WeChat:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Just landed via Messenger:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨