Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Spotted on Instagram:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Breaking via Facebook:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Breaking via Snapchat:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You wish you had this many chins.

Trending via Twitch:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Spotted on X:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Live now on Snapchat:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Broadcasted on Discord:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a professional hobby of auditioning for a role you're never gonna get! 😂🎭💔

actually, dating, getting, humor, just, okay, pretending, relationship, sarcasm, situationship, someone, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

0

2 months ago

conflict, favor, humor, humor about conflict, humorous, humorous quote, i, international, international relations, joke, political, political humor, relations, sarcasm, satire, war, war joke
I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

0

2 months ago

age, check, confusion, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, glasses, humor, i, life, memory, pills, put, remember, where
The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

0

4 weeks ago

band, concert, giant, giant magnet, guitar, hands, humor, i, influence, magnet, music, shows, The Velvet Underground, underground, velvet
The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

0

2 months ago

comedy, How I Met Your Mother, humor, i, just, met, mother, show, storytelling, talk, ted, TED talk, television, TV, TV Show
You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

0

2 months ago

buffering, HD, humor, joke, just, lazy, procrastination, tech
Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

0

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, everyone, forget, humor, personality, self-esteem, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Trending via WhatsApp:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Spotted on Reddit:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Live now on Threads:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Just shared via Threads:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨