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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,952

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Going viral on WeChat:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Live now on Slack:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Just shared via Threads:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Spotted on Discord:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Live now on Pinterest:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

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Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a professional hobby of auditioning for a role you're never gonna get! 😂🎭💔

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on X this month:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

81 shares on Slack this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

19 shares on Threads this month:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

8 folks are currently checking 👀

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,067

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Shared recently on X:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Going viral on Threads:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Making waves on Telegram:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Making waves on Discord:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Making waves on Threads:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

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