Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Just shared via Discord:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Going viral on Facebook:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Just landed via WeChat:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Going viral on Reddit:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Trending via Telegram:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

1 month ago

Witty quote contrasting luxury shopping with finding flight deals, humorous and playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're more interested in runway clearance than runway fashion. ✈️🛍️👠

bargain, bargain hunting, comparison, deal, deals, designer, designer heel, flight, flight deal, heel, heels, humor, hunting, i, nonstop, people, shop, shopping, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Going viral on Twitch:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just landed via Instagram:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Shared recently on X:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨