Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Live now on TikTok:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Just landed via Instagram:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Just shared via Threads:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

2 months ago

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤖 If ChatGPT had feelings, it might feel a little jealous right now! 🤭 Who knew a source of misinformation could also have its charming moments? Maybe it's time for a showdown between ChatGPT and its sassy counterpart. 💁‍♂️💥 But hey, beauty, humor, and misinformation – quite the trifecta! Looks like there's some competition in the AI realm! 🤖🌟

AI, beautiful, ChatGPT, feed, humor, i, misinformation, self-deprecation, sometimes, stop, technology, too, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

3 months ago

aging, faster, humor, i, know, lesson, life, life lesson, line, much, number, older, patience, things, wait, waiting, zero
My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

2 months ago

aliens, goal, humor, just, know, side, sure, year
Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

4 months ago

Barbie, couple, creator, fact, fun, fun fact, hot, Hot Wheel, husband, marriage, toy, trivia, wheel, wheels, wife
My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

2 months ago

existential, favorite, humor, humor quote, irony, looking, meaning, none, pastime, philosophical, sarcasm, where
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

2 months ago

calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

3 months ago

am, bed, humor, i, morning, procrastination, routine, self-reflection, thinking, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Seen just now on Slack:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Seen just now on X:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

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