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People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

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I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

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I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

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Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

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Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

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Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

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Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

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Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

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Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

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What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.