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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Just shared via Facebook:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When you realize your emotional investment had the return rate of a potato 🥔🚫📈

awkward, awkward interaction, awkwardness, humor, interaction, just, pointless, sarcasm, social, social awkwardness, stranger, strangers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

1 month ago
buffalo, buffalo wing, ever, food, humor, me, nap, restaurant, sarcasm, single, support, waitress, wet, wet nap, wing, wings
There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

1 month ago
accidental, accidentally, humor, important, important person, irony, job, nothing, person, responsibility, workplace, worse
Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

1 month ago
always, brag, checkout, checkout line, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, line, moving, observation, pick, shopping, slow, store
If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

1 month ago
actually, behavior, being, complain, complaint, fitness, humor, i, irony, just, out of shape, people, relatability, self-awareness, shape, tips, try, want, workout, wrong
I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

1 month ago
back, braces, dental, done, having, humor, i, irony, perfect, perfect tooth, point, reason, self-image, smile, teeth, tooth
I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

1 month ago
activity, again, drinking, fun, going, humor, later, never, promise, something, today

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Shared recently on Slack:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

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That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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