Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Breaking via WeChat:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Going viral on TikTok:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Trending via YouTube:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Just shared via YouTube:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a zombie trying to pass for a good ol' lively human. 🧟‍♂️➡️🕺 #UndeadVibes

attitude, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, live, resilience, rumor, rumors, sarcasm, will to live

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

3 months ago

advice, expectations, family, house, i, kitchen, me, mom, new, organize, tell, wait, wrong
Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

2 months ago

challenge, communication, figure, fun, me, mystery, opening, relationship, trying
Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

3 months ago

call, Facetime, funny observation, humility, humor, observation, screenshot, seeing, self-image, technology, video, video call, yourself
If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

4 weeks ago

adversity, guy, humor, just, life, motivation, nobody, remember, right, sarcasm, struggle, worse
If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

3 months ago

beauty, caterpillar, humor, i, patience, prettier, self-improvement, sleep, time, transformation
Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

6 months ago

account, bank, bank account, cash, character, close, finance, game, hedgehog, humor, keep, me, money, saving, sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, video, video game character

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

50 shares on Slack this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

93 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Going bananas on X:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Love is in the air fryer.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨