Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,074

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending via Messenger:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Going viral on Discord:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Live now on Twitch:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Spotted on WeChat:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Trending via Messenger:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a zombie trying to pass for a good ol' lively human. 🧟‍♂️➡️🕺 #UndeadVibes

attitude, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, live, resilience, rumor, rumors, sarcasm, will to live

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

0

1 month ago

alien, alone, ancient, home, home planet, humor, just, leave, loneliness, me, planet, please, return, sci-fi, time, time travel, travel, trying
Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

0

2 months ago

$50 bill, 50, bill, bus, bus driver, drive, driver, funny situation, humor, joke, just, just drive, situation, spontaneity, transportation
Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

0

1 month ago

experience, experiences, frustration, human, human experience, interface, keyboard, remote, technology, truly, TV, type, typing, user, user interface, using, worst
Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

0

2 months ago

actual, appearance, character, fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, grandma, hood, humor, little, little red riding hood, red, riding, storytelling, tale, talk
I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

0

1 month ago

band, bands, fashion, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, i, kid, music, new, nostalgia, old, old people, people, shirt, shirts, trend
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

4 weeks ago

bra, dyslexia, dyslexic, humor, joke, man, pun, walking, walks, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on X this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Spotted on Facebook:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Going viral on Facebook:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Just shared via Telegram:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Trending via Messenger:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Spotted on WeChat:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Trending via Snapchat:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨