Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Just shared via WeChat:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a "grate" idea! 🧀😄 Time to Brie yourself!

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

0

2 months ago

house, humor, i, introvert, leaving, people, preference, relationship, social, treat, treated, want
November is for turtlenecks and depression.

0

2 months ago

depression, fall, fall fashion, fashion, humor, mood, November, seasonal, seasonal mood, sweater, sweater weather, turtleneck, weather
I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

0

2 months ago

age, doctor, feel, feeling, feeling old, hit, humor, i, life, me, old, wisdom
Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

0

3 months ago

apparently, even, finance, financial, financial problem, going, humor, i, issue, just, life, life struggle, lot, money, money issue, need, personal, personal finance, problem, struggle, through
I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

0

2 months ago

always, beauty, beauty routine, face, grooming, humor, i, make-up, makeup, men, routine, shaving, stupid, women, wonder
As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

0

2 months ago

allowed, direct, empowerment, fantasy, girl, humor, i, moon, should, speak

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Spotted on Twitch:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Trending via Threads:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Spotted on TikTok:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Making waves on Discord:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨