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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Spotted on Reddit:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Going viral on WeChat:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just waiting for someone to yell, "Bon voyage!" as I wave frantically at my laptop 😂🚢👋

1800s, big, call, end, every, farewell, farewell gesture, gesture, harbor, humor, leaving, meeting, nostalgia, steamship, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, waving, Zoom, Zoom call

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, after, best, best part, car, comfort, day, heated, heated seat, humor, life, life transition, long day, seat, seats, transition, welcome
I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us
Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

0

2 months ago

gentle, hands, humor, joke, last, pickpocket, relationship, status
I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

asked, doctor, health, humor, i, joke, just, me, monkey, Monkey Pox, pox, swing, symptoms, told, tomorrow
I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

0

2 months ago

bodily, bodily function, body, comedy, fart, function, funny moment, humor, i, joke, just, moment, quirky, same, screenshot, sneeze, think, time, unexpected
Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

0

2 months ago

coat, disappointment, hate, humor, i, money, pull, stash, surprise, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

87 shares on Threads this month:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

49 shares on Discord this month:

The world started without permission again.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I run a parody bank account.

Just landed via Discord:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Making waves on Facebook:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Just landed via Slack:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Making waves on Pinterest:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Live now on Facebook:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨